A while back I wrote a story about how sex is like petting a dog. It had a lot of the same ideas that you have here, including that there is no one "rule book" for how to do it right. In petting a dog you follow your intuition based on what the dog seems to enjoy. You do not go through a rote set of steps. Good sex is like that as well. It's best when you are paying attention to what your partner wants and enjoys. And I agree, I don’t really trust someone who doesn’t like dogs.