A while back you said that, "They can't be themselves because they keep being told how they want to be is wrong and they need to heal something that isn't broken" and now you're trying to tell me that these guys are actually trying to heal themselves, and just not succeeding? Forgive me if I don't find that too credible.
Taking what women on TikTok say as indicative of a mainstream dynamic is both silly and kind of pathetic. Of course there are women out there who want that in their men, but it's well documented that while most women want a partner who is financially stable, wealth is not the primary thing that most women find attractive or even desirable in a partner.
In fact, this very dynamic is one of the main aspects of what is going on in the dating world right now - in that women now make their own money and so they are no longer willing to partner with men they find undesirable in other ways just to have greater finances — leading to a lot more lonely men who didn’t get the memo that they have to actually be a good person and a good partner. It’s not enough to be “a provider” anymore.
And, as we've already discussed 97 times, what was missing for you was game, and real confidence in yourself (something you've often disparaged as being a quality that only players have). It's never enough to be just a nice guy (as already established years ago), it's always important to be able to have the kind of social skills that show you to be both comfortable with women, but also engaging in a way that conveys sexual or romantic interest (without being gross or creepy).
Dr. Nerdlove (and many others) talk about this sort of thing often, but you always dismiss it out of hand, because then you're not the one who is lacking and you can blame women instead.
As seems to be common in our discussions, I think we've come to a crossroads where there isn't really anything more to say, so I'll wish you the best and move on.
A relentless focus on “mating value,” narrowly conceived, also contrasts with an analysis of several data sets reporting what characteristics men and women find more and less important in a partner. These show that for the past seventy-five years, across a number of different countries, the most important attributes in a long-term partner for both women and men have nothing to do with youthful fertility traded for resources.
Fine, Cordelia. Testosterone Rex: Myths of Sex, Science, and Society (p. 75). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition.
As noted above, both men and women tend to want someone who is a lot like them as far as social assets, but the truth is, in general women care about looks and earning potential a lot less than men do. “Good looks are less important to women — men who score between 5–9 on ‘attractiveness’ actually receive more messages than men who score 10/10,” finds an Oxford University analysis of 150,000 dating profiles. “Both sexes have become less concerned with the income or education level of a potential partner.”
