"According to this Pew research a vast majority of women think men need to be a financial provider to be a good partner or husband" - And, men believe that even more than women do - and both said they thought that having a caring compassionate partner was more important than what they earned. I'm quite familiar with that study. It is a part of American culture, but not in the same way that it was when women weren't allowed to make their own money or didn't have the opportunity to do so in any significant manner. As of now, 30% of women earn the same as their men and 20% earn more. The whole revolution of women walking away from dating and marriage is "financed" by the fact that they no longer need to rely on men to support them.
Correlation isn't causation - simply saying that men need to be good earners to be good mates may or may not have anything to do with "gold-digging" dynamics - as already discussed. It may well be about stability and a way to demonstrate responsibility.
Women liking men who have earned money rather than inheriting it is not about the money - it's about the drive, initiative, and smarts to have made your way - something that is a part of the confidence that is what most women actually care about.
Men self-reporting why women didn't want to date them (without actually hearing it directly from the woman) are inevitably going to scapegoat the woman for some kind of problematic behavior rather than self-reflection about what was actually more likely going on - such as low EQ, entitled behavior, etc., etc. Perhaps the same could be said of women, but they're not making a cottage industry out of complaining about how men owe them dates, and sex the way men are.
Depending on the surveys and the way they are administered, women might underreport their interests - and at the same time, it's well documented that 60% of monogamous relationships that open up do so at the request of women and that young women are more likely to have gone to a sex party, BDSM club, or engaged in a threesome. So, clearly women are capable and often willing to talk about their actual needs and desires with researchers.
