Again, I absolutely respect that, but as someone who has dabbled with BDSM I very strongly believe that the women who enjoy it like the sense of engaging with those dynamics in a way that is completely safe and where they have ultimate power. As I know you know, women spend their entire lives with men trying to take their power and impose their wishes on them. BDSM turns that on it's head because it puts the sub (who isn't always a woman) in control of that dynamic. The Dom only has the power that she gives to him - and that can be very healing. It also takes a lot of trust and engenders a lot of intimacy (when done correctly) so there's that as well which upends what happens in the outside world.
It's well documented that the men who visit dominatrixes are nearly always high powered men who feel they always have to be in control. Giving that up temporarily to somebody that you trust is like taking a vacation in some ways (from my personal experience - as well as documentation of this dynamic). Women are subjected to so many societal demands - many of which are conflicting - and always have to be on alert about their safety in a way that most men don't that it can be very relaxing to engage in that with somebody you feel safe with. Most people don't like pain, they like intensity of sensation, but some do actually love the rush of endorphins and such that can take place when pain is administered. "Sub space" refers to the high that many subs experience.
https://metro.co.uk/2022/08/10/bdsm-what-is-subspace-and-how-do-i-deal-with-it-17155269/
"As Sophia explains, during different types of play the body can release a whole host of different hormones such as dopamine, adrenaline, endorphins, oxytocin, cortisol. This can lead to people feeling ‘high’ and in an almost ‘trance-like state’ both during and after intercourse.
While ‘topspace’ also exists for dominants, subspace is characterised as being ‘floaty’ and hazy."
Again, it's so so fine if this doesn't speak to you as something you'd ever want to engage in, but abuse and BDSM are about as different as McDonalds and fine dining. The fact that they're too often conflated - in porn, or in the popular culture (50 Shades movies) distracts from what real BDSM is about. It's not for everyone, but it can be really intimate and also for some people, really healing.
