And that shouldn't be happening but it's mostly not that - it's the loss of entitlement and the loss of de facto position in the world. The more I learn about this, the more I see how white men are pissed off at their loss of status. There's a huge amount of overlap in these communities with white nationalism and nearly all members of the "manosphere" are middle class, educated, white men. The driving belief of incels is that they should be getting their share of women (a commodity) and they are mad that they aren't. The men that I know who have gotten sucked into any of this manosphere shit did so because a woman hurt them, and it so rattled their sense of entitlement (because after all, women really only exist to make men happy and give them pleasure - a subconscious but very prevalent belief) that they reverted to an entirely misogynistic viewpoint. It's frankly fucking pathetic!

There is no equivalent for women. Even the women who hate all men do so because of actual abuse and trauma, not because they got their feelings hurt at the loss of a relationship.

The real issue is that a patriarchal culture doesn't teach boys how to be full human beings, doesn't teach them good social skills about relating (and not just dominating) and doesn't teach them how to handle their emotions. And then when something goes awry as the result of that, it's much easier to blame women than it is to go an actual inventory of how you failed as a partner and how masculine gender norms contributed to that.