Another favorite quote: " …the older I get, the more I see how women are described as having gone mad, when what they’ve actually become is knowledgeable and powerful and fucking furious." ~ Sophie Heawood

And this one too: "ANGER IS AN EMOTIONAL TRAFFIC SIGNAL. It tells us that we’ve been mistreated or hurt in some way. When we don’t feel ashamed of our anger, it can help us notice our needs and cultivate self-care."

That being said, I don't think it's gaslighting to advocate for forgiveness as a spiritual practice, because I don't think that it precludes getting authentically angry first. And, I'm glad that you're finding your way into who you really want to be.