As another poly person, I have to agree that getting in this habit - because you kind of have to - means it's now second nature, and I love that. I wish it were a more normalized thing, because once everybody has had a chance to say what they are interested in and what's off the table, then it's just fun, with no worries of accidentally triggering someone or angering them in the middle of having great sex or just having fun hanging out together. Too many Americans view transparent communication as way too vulnerable to engage in and that's a huge problem and why so many people are so damned passive-aggressive. I want to yell "Grow Up!" sometimes