As I told you before, we're all swimming in the same ocean and have been indoctrinated into the same social system. What do you think the metaphors mean when I say, "make sure the pump is oiled and working well and that there are no cracks"? Of course women need to do their own work around internalized patriarchy, but they can't do that nearly as well if they are also fighting for basic safety as well as having to take on all the other inequality problems in the world - most of them created by men, as some men demand - at the same time.

Making everything women's fault and women's job to fix is a deflection and it's victim blaming. Yes, women need to do their part, but patriarchy is not upheld primarily by or to impress women. Masculinity is a boy's club, where the most important people in it are other boys and men and what they think of how you as a guy are measuring up. In case you'd forgotten, a major facet of patriarchy is for boys to be the antithesis of girls. Most men who go after power and prestige do it to impress other men. Sure, it might get them some women too, but those women are also just another trophy to show off to the men around them. Making it sound like women have SO MUCH power even though a mere 50 years ago they had hundreds of fewer rights by law than men did, is just another deflection so that men don't have to take on the hard work of improving this culture. It seems like every man I meet needs a refresher course in power dynamics. 🙄

Psychologist Michael Thompson has pointed out that silence in the face of cruelty or sexism is how boys become men. Charis Denison, a youth advocate and sex educator in the Bay Area, put it another way: “At one time or another, every young man will get a letter of admission to ‘dick school.’ The question is, will he drop out, graduate, or go for an advanced degree?”

Orenstein, Peggy. Boys & Sex (p. 34). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.