At this juncture, I feel pretty jaded and I was definitely feeling discouraged and fed up when I wrote this piece. But, that being said, I will keep writing and (dealing with the constant backlash to doing that). Most men I encounter (with a few notable exceptions) don't want a new empowering narrative - they want the old one back where they have unearned power and privilege, cultural centrality, etc. That's how the Andrew Tates of the world get so popular -by speaking to that desire.

Patriarchal dominance hierarchies breed insecurity and because of that most men (and most women) are way too weak to really take themselves on and help to create a better, more empowering world for themselves. Predatory capitalism is more than happy to keep them in that state.

An American Culture of Insecure Bullies

"But what this dog-eat-dog culture fails to understand about itself is that it cannot help but foster a society of insecure children wearing big-boy (and big girl) clothing. People are afraid to be vulnerable, afraid to admit they are wrong, afraid to admit they need help, or that they don’t know everything. They are consumed with always looking good and never looking bad, and are constantly looking over their shoulder to see who is nipping at their heels, ready to take their place on the rungs of prestige and power.

They don’t know who they are or what they have to actually offer, because there is no room for self-reflection when you are constantly acting out a Clint Eastwood movie in your head. But they are darn well going to hold on to whatever trappings of power and prestige they can, by any means necessary."

They say that a cynic is really just an idealist who has been disappointed. That makes a lot of sense to me.

Edit: If you haven’t already, check out this piece written by Katie Jgln that details how viscerally and subconsciously most men are still heavily at the mercy of absurd gender norms.

The Rise of Andrew Tate Is Scary — But Could It Have Been Prevented?

“Well, the findings from the above studies are pretty straightforward: when men think there’s a threat to their masculinity — and, by extension, their very identity — they’ll likely compensate for it in some ways to demonstrate their manhood.”