Because there largely is no such thing. That doesn't mean that women aren't highly capable of terrible behavior, but as you noted, so called "toxic masculinity" is essentially taking OK traits to an unhealthy extreme. There's little of that happening with feminine traits in this culture. Most of the bad things women do are related to taking on aspects of patriarchal dominance hierarchy behaviors too.
Traditional feminine traits include things like being intuitive, generous, nurturing, creative, collaborative, caring, and receptive. Masculine ones are things like logical, confident, assertive, goal-oriented, independent, etc., but these are really more Yin and Yang descriptors and not necessarily linked with a particular gender — because everyone has a blend of these.
So what does true “toxic femininity” look like? It could be smothering rather than nurturant, co-dependent rather than interrelated, passive-aggressive rather than clear about needs or boundaries. It could also look like being a drama queen. And just like with wounded masculinity (a better term than toxic, I think), wounded femininity comes out of living in a dominance-based social hierarchy, where you are taught to always compare yourself to everyone around you and to evaluate every interaction for whether or not you are the in the one-up or the one-down position. It breeds insecurity, selfishness, and a lack of true connection.
Although problematic feminine behavior causes unpleasantness and issues, it doesn't drive crime and violence in our society the way that these problematic and very mainstream masculine norms do. That's the difference.
The APA has noted in it's release of new guidelines for working with men and boys, "Thirteen years in the making, they (the guidelines) draw on more than 40 years of research showing that traditional masculinity is psychologically harmful and that socializing boys to suppress their emotions causes damage that echoes both inwardly and outwardly. The main thrust of the subsequent research is that traditional masculinity—marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression—is, on the whole, harmful." (emphasis mine)
Those things are a part of mainstream (and not just problematic) masculinity and masculine socialization - and they hurt men as well as pretty much everyone else. This is what nearly all reputable research on this topic finds. Not every man acts on or subscribes to these "Man Box" norms to the same extent, but nearly all feel pressure to be "a real man" by those metrics to at least some extent.
"Young men’s mental health is in a worrisome state. Their bravado masks deep insecurities, depression, and frequent thoughts of suicide. Men in the Man Box in the US and UK are statistically significantly more likely to meet a screening standard for depression than men outside the Man Box.Furthermore, all young men’s rates of suicidal ideation are troubling, with particularly high rates among men in the Man Box.
The Man Box is an enormously violent place, with negative repercussions for young men themselves, for young women, and for others in their lives.Men in the Man Box in the US and UK are as much as six or seven times more likely to report having perpetrated acts of online or physical bullying against male peers than men outside the Man Box. Men in the Man Box in Mexico are also three times more likely than their peers outside the Man Box to report having perpetrated sexual harassment. In the US and UK, men in the Man Box are six times more likely to report perpetrating sexual harassment.”
Aside from the fact that there's little actual true toxic femininity (feminine traits taken to unhealthy extremes), the bad behavior that women do exhibit mostly isn't killing them or anyone else and it's not driving societal problems in the same way that Man Box masculinity is. Nearly all “women’s issues” are actually problems caused by regular guys acting on accepted norms of what it means to be a man in our culture. And most violence against men is caused by the same things — coming from other men.
Men’s violence against women is a pervasive social phenomenon with deep roots in existing personal, social, and institutional arrangements. In order for people to understand and ultimately work together to prevent it, it is first necessary for them to engage in a great deal of personal and collective introspection. This introspection can be especially threatening to men, because as perpetrators and bystanders, they are responsible for the bulk of the problem.
Men’s violence against women is a major contemporary social problem that is deeply rooted in our cultural traditions. This does not in any way absolve individuals of responsibility for their actions. But just as it is unfair to punish low-level soldiers and not hold their superiors accountable for abuse debacles like the one in the early 2000s at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, it is disingenuous to attribute the widespread problem of gender violence to an isolated collection of social deviants and let the rest of us off the hook. The historical dimensions of the problem of men’s violence become clear when you simply look at the numbers, although statistics about rape and domestic violence have been circulating for so long that many people are desensitized.
Katz, Jackson. The Macho Paradox (p. 26). Sourcebooks. Kindle Edition.
Both men and women have Yin and Yang traits, it’s just that a large part of Man Box masculinity is suppressing and denying anything Yin for men “because that’s girly.” Creating norms where being a man is largely defined by “not being a woman” curtails the normal balance of Yin and Yang in every person and it denigrates femaleness as well. I could go on here, but I think I’ll save it for a fuller essay.
