Being able to correctly identify what the problem is with something is the first step to being able to affect or improve it. And, this entire conversation began because I proposed a very clear and concrete thing that might be done to affect the problem - for men to work together to shift the norms of masculinity that come out of a violent dominator model to ones that are more pro-social. Will that magically overnight transform a country that is heavily invested in predatory capitalism and a Might Makes Right mentality? No, of course not, but it's a movement in the right direction.
The Danes teach empathy in schools and encourage all students to compete against their own former performance rather than against each other. These are considered strong skills for success in business and their economy reflects it. It's also one of the countries with the highest happiness quotients in the world.
"Partnership-oriented organizations have trust and reciprocity-based cooperation; achievement-based (rather than conflict-based) competition; and use conflict as a tool to arrive at solutions, rather than a zero-sum win at all costs mentality. “Leadership is based on power to (woman or man who nurtures and supports productivity and creativity) AND/OR power with (encourages and participates in teamwork).”
Business is one of the main forefronts for partnership-oriented shifts in our culture today because it leads to greater agility and responsiveness, which in turn, contributes to the bottom line."
And no, it's apparently not worth "quickly noting" because I had to argue with you about for 3 days before you accepted that this was indeed actually a core issue of the problem. This is the ocean that most of us in the West have swum in our entire lives. It's hard to grasp the properties of the ocean when you are in the midst of it. Plus, too many men are absurdly defensive and in denial about all of this. Many of them take any indictment of the patriarchal dominance hierarchy as a personal attack and act as though finding fault with the system is a tactic admission that they haven't been able to cut it in that system and that seems weak to them.
First, we have to get people understanding what is really going on - because a whole lot of it happens in the collective unconscious and in the longstanding norms of the culture. Most of it isn't conscious malicious intent - it's acting out cultural scripts in the ways that been indoctrinated since birth.
And although much of this societal messaging is that males are more competent, independent, and worthy of holding power, strict gender norms hurt boys and men as well. The Global Early Adolescent Study, based at Johns Hopkins University, concludes that due to these gender norms, “they engage in and are the victims of physical violence to a much greater extent than girls; they die more frequently from unintentional injuries, are more prone to substance abuse and suicide; and as adults their life expectancy is shorter than that of women. Such differences are socially not biologically determined.”
I'm working on a story now about some of the organizations that have set up pro-social outreach and support programs to help boys and men (and others) to do exactly what I'm talking about. That in and of itself is going to be a 7-10 minute story. I can't provide the history of how this social system came about, the properties of it and the way that it's harmful AND all the solutions to that in 1 short essay. That’s not a reasonble demand.
