But isn't that exactly what happened to you in the subway? Sure, refer to your experience how ever you want to. I have no issue with that but I think you are reacting negatively to the word victim because in a dominance hierarchy system like patriarchy, it is shameful to have not come out of an interaction with somebody else without having the upper hand. It's a win/lose scenario, and who wants to be branded the loser? Being a lawyer only reinforces this dynamic (my husband is one and I've heard him talk about that mentality).

The political right has made this word mean weak and whiner, and changed it from the dictionary definition which is a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action. Of course, frame yourself in your life in any way that feels empowering to you, but there's nothing wrong with the word victim except in a culture where there can only be winners and losers. Think of Trump mocking John McCain for getting captured in Korea. It's that kind of "social Darwinism" outlook that is the real problem, IMO.