But patriarchy isn't about balance - its about artificial gender binaries in the extreme, with no room for men in particular to express anything other than complete stoicism, confidence, independence and constant competition with each other.

And how do you know that my "security" comes from my husband and not my own career and/or resources? And even more so, what does my "security" have to do with anything that we've talked about to date? It doesn't insulate me from the vagaries of dating or anything else that you have mentioned you are dealing with. I work every day to improve myself, to deal with my bullshit, to question my thoughts, to heal my wounds, etc., etc., etc. Where I am in life is due to that - something which is available to you as well, should you choose to take that on.

If you can't point to what's flawed in my reasoning beyond. "it's not to my taste" that means it's coming out of your subconsious/emotions and not your cognitive processes.