But that's not true of most American men, which is why I reacted. And, as previously noted, it can be hard to truly communicate well via written relay message, so my apologies again for misinterpreting. We all see things through the lens of our own biases and experiences, and mine are that American men are a bit rabid about this and seem to think it's a universal construct - which it very much isn't.

I think names are important - which is why I didn't want to suddenly change mine at age 27. A lot of my identity is wrapped up in that name. Almost no men I know would be willing to give up their own last name upon marriage, but at the same time expect their wives to do it as a matter of course. This is the issue I have. And, I'm in no way attributing that to you. It's just a general social note about American men on the whole.

One of my son's former teachers took his wife's name and he took hers to so they both have the same compound last name. Rob Jones and Mary Smith are now Rob and Mary Jones Smith. Much like the Spanish tradition, which I applaud. And again, I largely think people should do what works for them because names are so important and carry so much energy with them.