But the women who voted for Trump aren't the ones on social media complaining about the ways they have been treated by men in this system. It's pretty much wholesale an entirely different demographic.

And, we've all been indoctrinated into this social system since birth. We all get reinforced with it's demands and expectations every single day - from media if nothing else, but most people get it other places as well. Most people are dealing with trauma of some sort, and most women are definitely dealing with trauma on multiple levels, coming from myriad places, quite often beginning with their own fathers. Women are messaged every day that the single most important thing about them is their sex appeal, that no matter what else they achieve, they still have to be "fuckable." If some people aren't rising above the onslaught of that messaging as adeptly as you'd hope, it's still really uncharitable to say you have "no pity" for them. It's rather like saying you have no pity for Black folks who haven't figured out how to "win" at life. Underestimating what constant oppression, constant marginalization, constant traumatization does to a person isn't helpful or kind. Women are taught their entire lives to be prey, and to take it with a smile and not make waves. They are then exhorted to speak up and take a stand for themselves, and when they do that, they are vilified and called names. It's fucking exhausting.

But even so, I think we need to have compassion for men too, even the ones who are acting out patriarchal norms and scripts to the detriment of others. With the exception of a few egregiously bad actors, my focus is on systems, norms, the ways that unconscious bias drives dysfunction, etc. We lived in a messed up culture. Most of us can do better than we are. Unless the other person is just not even trying at all, I think a bit of compassion is in order.