But they can read, they can learn from their mothers who were in the midst of the women's movement. Plus, you don't need somebody to tell you that not being treated like shit is asking too much and that this is somehow just male nature and so unavoidable. They see their friends who are with guys who aren't like that. They grew up with fathers who aren't like that. They meet men from other cultures who aren’t like that. It's not rocket science...
I know a lot more women than you do and a lot more feminists and overwhelmingly they say how much they really like men - and are just deeply disappointed and fed up. There's was even a recent large study about this.
https://medium.com/bitchy/why-its-so-harmful-to-assume-all-feminists-hate-men-d8a33c9228da
"This new piece of research is a never-done-before deep dive into what feminists truly think about men.
It turns out that even though feminists have been forever painted as man-haters, there has been little research to corroborate this.
This new study was different because it took a huge sample (10,000 men and women) across 10 different countries.
The main conclusion was that feminists display no more negative attitudes towards men than non-feminists.
In fact, it proved that feminists generally display positive attitudes toward men.
When (some) men believe all feminists hate men, they don’t realise — or are unable to accept — one major thing.
We are not angry at individual men (although I’ll admit there have been exceptions, like when a guy physically stopped me from talking because he wanted to hear from my husband).
We’re angry at the system. One which is harmful to men as well as women."
No, we don't like misogyny and patriarchal entitlement but we also realize that is not the sum total of who and what all men are. If we didn't think you could do better, we wouldn't bother with you at all.
Fifty years ago both Blacks and women were second class citizens by law. We've come a huge long way in 5 decades, although it's not nearly enough on either front. Of course culture can't change at the drop of a hat but it changes all the time, particularly when people actually want it to. A lot of men don't want the culture to change. They like their unearned privilege because patriarchy has taught them if you don't win, you lose and who wants to lose? But that's not the only option. We can have a more cooperative and egalitarian system - but men have to want to go there. They have to recognize how much the current culture is harming them too.
https://medium.com/inside-of-elle-beau/arent-men-supposed-to-be-solution-oriented-d96df20e517c
In 2019, the American Psychological Association (APA) issued new guidelines for working with men and boys. They spent 13 years reviewing 40 years of research and crafting a framework for better assisting males suffering from the negative mental and emotional effects of masculine socialization. The APA considered multiple masculinities, including pressures and challenges for different races, ethnicities, sexualities, and gender expressions.
"The main thrust of the subsequent research is that traditional masculinity — marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance and aggression — is, on the whole, harmful. Men socialized in this way are less likely to engage in healthy behaviors.
Getting that message out to men — that they’re adaptable, emotional and capable of engaging fully outside of rigid norms — is what the new guidelines are designed to do. And if psychologists can focus on supporting men in breaking free of masculinity rules that don’t help them, the effects could spread beyond just mental health for men, McDermott says. “If we can change men,” he says, “we can change the world.”
