But we aren't socialized the same. Fundamentally, human beings are much more alike than different along a vast continuum of individuality but we still have to take into consideration the deep levels of gender indoctrination that we are all bombarded with since birth. In this culture, men care a whole lot about looks (in part because pretty women are used to garner social status) but most women care a whole lot less about that in their partners if they bring other things to the table in the personality department.