Casual sex isn't the issue. Treating your partner(s) like living sex toys is. As someone who (prepandemic) had a fair amount of casual sex with people that I really liked and valued as people, I say this from first hand experience. You don't have to love the other person or be committed to them, but you do have to like and respect them in order not to end up in an empty, soulless exchange that leaves both parties feeling empty.
"When we’ve been spending time with our like-minded intimates, the set-point changes and I can start to forget that what we are doing is scandalous in many people’s eyes. It’s fun and it makes me happy. It makes James happy too. When something goes unexpectedly well for us, we laugh and chalk it up to all of our “clean living.” We are being ourselves and getting to act on that part of us that expresses affection through sexual connection with other people who feel the same. When we take off our clothes, we take off the masks that we wear out in the world as well, and that just feels like a weight being lifted."
