Don't blame women alone for this. The patriarchy is quite literally a male dominated social system of traditional power maintained by coercion, intimidation, and violence. Fifty years ago women were second class citizens by law with hundreds of fewer rights than men. 1 in 3 women aren't raped because women choose the wrong guy. Talk about blaming the victim... We live in a culture where mainstream masculine norms include aggression, domination of others, and control of your woman.
Yes, women do participate in upholding patriarchy and are messaged a lot of the same norms about what looks like masculinity in this culture, but contrary to what you and some other men seem to believe, most men actually care what other men think of them way, way more than they think about women's perspectives - and men still have a huge amount of institutional power that unfortunately is rather frequently employed to try to keep women "in their place" - whether through paying less for the same work (even thought that is illegal), through harassment of women who seem to be competing with men at work, or abusing and sexually violating women who tell them No, or try to leave, etc., etc., etc.
Masculinity in this culture is a constant performance of acceptable male traits performed primarily for the approval and acceptance of other men - who will bully and police guys who don't adhere to those. Sometimes women participate in that bullying as well, but it's sociologically well established that men primarily look to other men for approval of their masculinity.
Edit: As the sociologist Michael Kimmel notes in his indispensable cultural history Manhood in America, men care a great deal about what other men think of them. In fact, he says, “In large part, it’s other men who are important to American men; [they] define their masculinity, not as much in relation to women, but in relation to one another. Masculinity is largely a homosocial enactment.”
Katz, Jackson. The Macho Paradox (p. 156). Sourcebooks. Kindle Edition.
In addition, most women don't actually care about men's money or 6 pack abs. You're projecting what you think women want because it's what seems masculine to you. The reason so many women are abandoning dating and relationships with guys is that too many men refuse to believe that it's actually their emotional disengagement and entitled personalities that are the problem — not that stuff that too many men are sure women care about when they mostly don’t.
Men want women to like them. That doesn’t mean they actually care about what women think. If they did, we’d be living in a very different world. Women wouldn’t be harmed or killed for telling guys they aren’t interested, and all the rest of it.
