Even casual partners shouldn’t be using each other like live sex toys, and no man I know needs 20 minutes to get off. Sex has become way too transactional and it’s a damned shame that we seem to have forgotten that the point of it is not orgasm — the point of it is to connect in a way that feels good to both parties, which very often then leads to orgasm. I think that the ubiquity of porn has probably not helped with this …..