Every (male) expert I've read on this topic agrees and acknowledges that this shit is literally killing men - from substance abuse, suicide, and the very real physical implications of profound loneliness on members of a highly social species. And yet, most men don't want to change, or even acknowledge that these norms cause problems for them - as well as for everyone else. They seem to think this is just how men are (rather than how they are trained to be in our specific culture) and so it's attacking men as people to note that these behaviors and outlooks hurt people, including a lot of men.

I honestly don't know how we ever move beyond this and toward a more sustainable culture when so many men are openly hostile to these changes. They aren't happy, they aren't contented, but they also don't want to hear how they participate in that situation and take responsibility for helping to change that.

I'm really disheartened to hear that you've lost so many friends for trying to do things differently, and that the group you were in didn't support you, but instead just edged you out for not conforming in some intangible way. It's depressing. Thanks for your take on things though. I appreciate hearing a guy's perspective.