Every single man (person) is capable of going on the Hero's journey. Every person has dragons and ogres in their psyche that need to be confronted and overcome. For women, the heroine's journey is slightly different, due to societal dynamics and what it means to be a woman in a patriarchal culture, but at the end of the day, this is recognized as a timeless motif for facing life's phases and initiations. It's a journey of both growing up and individuation, of finding Self in deep and honoring way. The biggest thing in all of our ways is ourselves. Confronting that is an epic adventure that isn't easy, but does result in becoming an actual self-actualized adult person.

"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek," Joseph Campbell famously noted.

I dismiss what you say because you offer things like this that don't stand up to scrutiny. If the lessons you supposedly learned only confirmed your fears, you haven't actually learned anything, haven't confronted any challenges, and are just living small and wounded. The fact that your attempts weren't successful is due to the fact that you didn't actually seek healing in any meaningful way, didn't consult enough wise gurus (and instead listened to hucksters on the internet selling you more pain), and embraced a whole lot of disempowering stories as a shield to deflect all responsibility onto others and society.

The hero's journey is about finding and developing an internal locus of control via a series of new skills developed, challenges met, and greater understanding about the depth of your own inner power. The hero frequently needs a helpful guide to set them off in the right direction. You've even had some experience with that part, but then gave up the idea once you found a partner (although that doesn't stop you from making these sort of comments that wallow in those old disempowering narratives).

I'm not trying to be insulting when I correctly point out that the narratives you are clinging to are those of incels - a group that eats disempowerment for lunch. When the OP says, "These stories are rarely of rich men saving the day" and you come back with "women don't like men who aren't financially successful" it shows that you're not listening at all to what real women say and want in favor of what is essentially a scapegoat technique that takes all the onus off of those kinds of men.

I get that I'm not going to change your mind because you are deeply attached to what probably feels like "self-preservation" narratives to you, but maybe somebody else reading this will get it. In any case, it's given me a great story idea.

Edit: We’re watching Maria on Netflix, a film about opera star Maria Callas. One of the things I noticed in reading up on her was that when she first applied to go to a singing school in her late teens, she didn’t get in, because they didn’t think she was good enough. In a few years, with more training, she was accepted and continued to hone her skills until she went on to become one of the most revered and adored opera stars to ever grace the stage.

So, when you tell me that guys with no social skills, no game, no time spent healing or growing kept doing the same things over and over again with no success, your conclusion shouldn’t be that they are right to give up. Your take-away should be that they hadn't yet developed themselves to the point where anyone would notice their “talent.” I floundered around and didn’t get very far doesn’t speak AT ALL to what is possible with the right attitude, the right guidance, and the desire to become the hero of your own life.