Gareth, you seem like a guy who genuinely does have a lot to offer and who is in many, many ways "a good catch." What strikes me as missing is playfulness. I understand that after years of rejection and not finding a relationship, it's hard to feel lighthearted, but it also probably means that you read as kind of desperate at this point, which keeps the cycle going in the wrong direction.

I know it is easier said than done to really fall in love with yourself under the circumstances, and to have that exude out of you in a light and playful way, but honestly, I think it would help a lot. Here's something I wrote about that just the other day. Wishing you all the best.

Confident Enough to Be Silly = Sexy