Good luck separating yourself out from the "system" when you are bombarded with it every day in every way from birth - and as noted, given strenuous behavioral conditioning to reinforce what you've been told. It can be done, but takes a lot of intention and also understanding what you’ve been brainwashed into in the first place.
I agree that we'd all be better off to try to learn who we each are as individuals, but it's not women or feminists who are the biggest voices warning men about how patriarchal norms harm them - it's psychology organizations, and groups who study gender. Forty years of research, most of it done by men, confirms this.
Cultures morph and shift all the time. Acting like that's impossible is just a passive-aggressive way to say you don't want to shift away from dominance hierarchy metrics because you self-identify with them too much.
