Having anger against a demographic who has demonstrably harmed you and everyone who looks like you for thousands of years is not being "misandrist." It's a natural response to pervasive and ongoing treatment from mainstream male culture. As already noted, most women don't hate men as individuals (unless they have specifically done something), they dislike the way that women are treated in this culture by men as a demographic. The guys who do this stuff are not aliens or "bad apples" - they are regular guys acting out deeply ingrained and accepted aspects of how males are messaged to act in this culture.
That doesn't mean I hate you or that any women hate you. I've been happily married for 32 years and I love my husband and son very much, as well as tons of other men in my life. But that doesn't mean I (and every woman I know) hasn’t been harmed by masculine culture on a continual basis that still takes place today.
Making this about you is centering yourself in a conversation where you don't belong. It's equivalent to a white person complaining that Black folks shouldn't be so upset at their treatment in society - something that is both personal, but also institutional and hard-baked into the culture. If you aren't doing anything problematic, then they aren't talking about you. Stop taking other people's marginalization and abuse personally. It's wildly inappropriate and to be honest, adds fuel to the fire of dislike for how men act.
You aren't stoic and dominant and don't like to show emotions because that's just who you are - you've been indoctrinated into being like that your entire life - so much so that you aren't even aware of it. Don't fool yourself into thinking you are actually an individual in full rational charge of his life, because nobody is. Cognitive science says that only 2% of thought is conscious - the rest of what we do and say and think that we are thinking is just stuff lodged in our subconscious pulling the strings from behind the scenes. And all that subconscious stuff stems from media, peers, religion, parents, culture as a whole and all sorts of other places we aren't even aware of. You didn't magically escape that somehow.
“Manly men” used to cry a lot up until about the Industrial Revolution. In some other cultures, they do still exhibit a lot more emotion than in ours. It’s all gender indoctrination about what is allowed and acceptable — at the current moment.
From there, gender indoctrination continues, even when parents work hard not to have that be the case. Children are constantly bombarded with gender-based expectations from society and from the media, and they are reinforced by both peers and adults alike. Sometimes that reinforcement is coercive and comes in the form of teasing or bullying for failing to comply with norms. Boys are more likely to be subjected to this kind of censure, sometimes with terrible consequences. A study by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) found that “20% of gender non-conforming students reported attempting suicide compared to 7% of gender-conforming students.
The data is bad for both sexes, but it seems to be worse for males.”
And although much of this societal messaging is that males are more competent, independent, and worthy of holding power, strict gender norms hurt boys and men as well. The Global Early Adolescent Study, based at Johns Hopkins University, concludes that due to these gender norms, “they engage in and are the victims of physical violence to a much greater extent than girls; they die more frequently from unintentional injuries, are more prone to substance abuse and suicide; and as adults their life expectancy is shorter than that of women.
Such differences are socially not biologically determined.”
