Hope you have a really great time at the laser dance party and I completely agree about romantic notions about sex being problematic - although most of those do come out of a patriarchal paradigm, where the man is supposed to be "in charge" and to just know how to "make the magic" without discussion or agreement - even though it doesn't always turn out so well. Queer and consensually non-monogamous people have no "built-in" script so they have to actually communicate.
This story about why consent doesn't always lead to ethical sex is also right on track, I think. The upshot being that consent can be coerced and is too often made the sole responsibility of women, but if we were to normalize actually caring about our partner's comfort and happiness, if we learned that ongoing collaborative communication was actually sexy, more people would be having a lot better sex and there'd also be a lot less sexual violence taking place.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/13634607221096760
