I appreciate your sharing so vulnerably. My husband and I opened up our relationship when I admitted to him that I had fantasies about being with two men (and that is still my favorite sexual thing for many of the reasons that you named). I like being the center of attention and although I always make sure that the men are having fun, the whole male/female sex dynamic gets turned on its head in a way that really works for me. It’s always worked well for me, but I can see how the things you described might easily happen.