I believe that most people who get married do unconsciously fall into roles. I saw this in my fairly egalitarian and awake relationship. It was only as we started to open it up to other lovers that we saw how true that really was. We had bought into all kinds of stuff that came from external places. Now we co-create our relationship, and that’s my recommendation for anyone, monogamous or not — to actively co-create it and not just fall into something that was designed by others thousands of years ago.

Here’s something else that I wrote around that:

Is It Monogamy’s Fault?