I come from a pretty small family, but I remember that dynamic for most of my growing up. By the time my dad was maybe 50, he realized he found washing dishes calming and kind of meditative and he always helped a lot with clean up - nightly, and on holidays after that. About 12 years ago my husband got interested in gourmet cooking and so he took over the food portion of all the holidays. That's when he truly clued in to the "standard" dynamic - when he was trying to organize things in the kitchen and his friends, who were probably sitting on the couch watching TV, were texting him holiday greetings and he busy trying to cook. I still set the table and do most of the clean up, although he helps put leftovers away. It's much nicer to have a collaborative celebration. I'm so glad we found that place.

We still have a fairly small family and do holiday celebrations more to suit us than anything, but I applaud you for doing what works for you and yours. I can't even imagine making 25+ pies and all the other things you dealt with growing up.