I did not change my name when I got married, and fortunately, my husband was just fine with that. I have a complex, hard to pronouce last name that is frequently misspelled, but it's still mine. Our son has that as his middle name. As you've said, our family unity has nothing whatsoever with us all having the same last name. People should do what they want. Some friends both took each other's names and now share a hyphenated one, although it will be more complicated for their children to follow suit. But, taking a man's name shouldn't just be the default. There are a lot of other options. I wasn't ready to give up my identity, and I'm glad that I experienced no pressure to do so from anyone I cared about.