I didn't actually say that - you are creating a false equivalency. Women rulers make up a tiny fraction of heads of state throughout history. Trying to show themselves to be tough and "kingly" enough to keep the support of their advisors and nobles no doubt contributed to queenly aggression.

But at the same time, overwhelmingly, statistically by a HUGE percentage, wars are started by a few elite men to further their own economic interests and they send the little guys off to die for their financial gain. The fact that a few women also did that doesn't negate the dynamic.