I didn’t realize it either until I started to think about it as we opened up. It’s great to have boundaries and agreements for a relationship but they should be the ones that the two of you create and agree too, not something designed 10K years ago as a method of control. Glad you feel empowered! And yes, Christianity is totally complicit in all of this.

“From Sumer to ancient Athens and Rome, medieval Europe, the Islamic world and traditional China, rigidly male-dominated societies, argues historian Riane Eisler (The Chalice and the Blade), relied on pain or the fear of it to maintain hierarchical relations of dominance and submission. Patriarchy, she believes, represses sexuality, distorts the natural bonds of erotic pleasure and love between men and women and diminishes women’s status. Drawing on archaeological evidence and Paleolithic and Neolithic art, Eisler argues that prehistoric societies were relatively free of the domination, exploitation and misogyny that have marked Western societies up to the present. She emphasizes that Christianity’s hostility toward sex and, particularly, women’s sexuality has conditioned men and women to accept coercion and repression. Eisler outlines a new sexual ethic that aligns pleasure with our capacity to feel and act empathically. Her visionary, passionate scholarship is a revealing psychosexual exploration of love and power relations.” Sacred Pleasure: Sex, Myth and the Politics of the Body — New Paths to Power and Love; Riane Eisler