I didn't say not to lean in. In fact, I specifically said the opposite. I'm simply pointing out that your opinion is that it's a simple matter of being more assertive and I'm pointing out that it's often more complicated than that. Additionally, your lived experience is that of one person. Large reputably done studies by major research institutions are going to give a lot clearer picture of what the real world is like for a cross-section of people, not just where you've worked. And pretty uniformly, what they say is that women and minorities may experience backlash for trying to negotiate for themselves in the way that is commonly expected for white men. It's not going to happen every time or in every company, but amongst people who have actually studied this, it's widely acknowledged as a pervasive problem.

If you bothered to read any of the things that I linked, you'd notice that they gave constructive ideas, which some companies are already implementing, in order to reduce the impact of subconscious bias. Fifty years ago both women and minorities were second class citizens by law. Imagining that the deeply entrenched beliefs those laws enshrined have completely disappeared in 1.5 generations is delusional. The research studies also gave suggestions to individuals, but I would find them pretty galling to do - such as women talking about how a certain amount of money would benefit their family.

I've been my own boss for over 25 years but I am a research-oriented writer specializing in sociology. When large groups of people are being marginalized, the solution is never just for those individuals to "do better." It's always a lot more complicated than that. This is my point.