I didn’t think you were denigrating anything. I was just pointing out that in general, I’m not a fan of assessments. I don’t push down my emotions because I know what a valuable tool they are. I do slam the door on relationships when I can no longer stomach the pain that they bring. That’s a different thing entirely.

And no, pushing down emotions is demonstrably not better as indicated by the Men’s Health article (and many others) about how detrimental that is to your health. It’s part of why there is such an epidemic of suicide amongst men in this country. Men who have been taught to suppress all emotions other than anger are more prone to everything from heart disease to substance abuse. It’s one of the ways that patriarchal norms really hurt men, by demanding that they always maintain a certain amount of emotional disconnection. We’re a social species and demanding that men truncate that part of themselves from boyhood is, as bell hooks points out, a kind of soul murder.

Change is always possible. You aren’t dead yet, and you are a smart and capable person. Obviously, at this stage, it would take a lot of intention and work, but if you so chose, you could change.