I don't disagree with you. We are all hugely influenced by our culture and there probably are many women out there (maybe even most) who even if they believe they are acting for themselves are in truth, still operating out of social programming. And, that being said, I still think that only the individual can determine what is empowering for herself. Having reclaimed my sexual self, and knowing a bunch of other women who have too, I reject anyone else's right to tell me what my motivations are for expressing my sexuality, whether I am feeding my own needs, or feeding societal expectations, etc.

I guess my stance is, just because most women/people aren't currently doing this well, doesn't mean that we should throw the baby out with the bath water. I think the remedy is to encourage women (and others) to practice making this distinction and to do the work necessary to get more conscious around it.

Some other great Medium writers who are exploring this kind of thing within themselves are Yael Wolfe, Ena Dahl, Demeter deLune, and others.