I don't know how many times this has to be said but JFC, dating apps are 70-90% men!! This means that supply and demand is skewed towards the small number of women who are on them and that the men who "present" the best with just a picture are going to tend to do better there. That has ZERO bearing on what the real world is like, and pretending that it's the entirely of the "real world" is both delusional and self-serving. If you look around at your local pub, at your local football game, at your local shopping area, there are all sorts of people who are paired up - not just the tallest, richest, buffest, most confident men. You have infinite ability to find abundance in your life in all sorts of ways, but instead, you'd rather sit in your room trying to order a date from the computer like it's Amazon, and then complain when that doesn't work out well. Why are you continuing to play a game that is, by your own reckoning, stacked against you (dating apps) and then complaining when it doesn't work out? That's literally one of the definitions of insanity. And this pathetic, and also quite hateful insistence that it's all women's fault means that you don't ever have to do anything different - you can just sit at home and keep scapegoating them. 🙄

If you want to change your life, you have to actually do the things that change your life, including your scarcity mindset. Hell, lots of people living subsistence lives in Africa have a greater abundance mindset than you do... What you're doing is a self-fulfilling prophecy and it will continue to be until you get off your duff and figure out how to change your life, in part by changing your negative self-talk and rumination but also your actions.

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/scarcity-mindset

Being upset about each of these situations is entirely valid, Dr. Alexander points out. And we don’t really know why some people faced with the same set of circumstances develop a scarcity mindset while others don’t. But if the absence of what you want becomes the focus of your thoughts every day, this can start to take over your life.

“You could end up becoming desperate. In some cases, when you become so focused on what you don’t have, you end up making bad decisions as a result,” says Dr. Alexander. “It ends up backfiring.”

So, you’re focusing on what you don’t have — is that really so bad? To a certain extent, maybe not. In some cases, it could be a source of motivation. But according to Dr. Alexander, this mindset can begin to poison your mental health and well-being over time.

This is because your brain isn’t good at multitasking. If you’re constantly fixating on the things you don’t have, it prevents you from being able to solve problems, hold onto information, control impulses or simply be in the present.

It’s hard to stop focusing on when things don’t work, but hyper-fixating on it could lead to intense overthinking and even a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you become so focused on what you lack and assume things will never change, you’ll never see yourself in a better situation.

“A scarcity mindset does a great job of sucking the joy out of people’s lives,” says Dr. Alexander. “Because everything starts to revolve around this thing that they don’t have.”