I don't know that women necessarily want to be idolized, because that means you aren't appreciating them - you are appreciating an idealized version of them that is in your mind. I think most women want to be truly appreciated for themselves. And women do want to be touched - but when they want it, when they've given consent - because they are autonomous beings, not dolls to be played with.

You are correct though, that if a person doesn't like themselves, it's hard for them to receive anyone else's appreciation.