I don't mean to be disrespectful to your lived experience, but as a student of how society works, I'm very aware that nothing happens outside of the social context. Because of that, I can't help but think that your internalization of what the word victim means in this culture (weak, deserving of harm, etc) is what is at odds with the strength and resilience you used to get through that situation -not some inherent state. Words have the meanings that we give them, which are all culturally influenced. This is a victim-hating, victim-mocking culture. That term is widely used to denigrate others even though it's ostensibly a fairly neutral word, it's now wielded as a weapon. I don't see any possible way for you not to be impacted by that. And at the same time, I still support your right to deal with and move through any experience in whatever way is most empowering to you. You don't like being called a victim, and that's fine, but not everyone feels the same as you do about that word. It's not a universal experience.
"As Kate Smurthwaite has said: Those that make others victims are the problem. Not the victims. Forget ‘victim mentality’, show me the assholes with ‘perpetrator mentality’ because they are the problem here.
There’s no shame in being hurt by what we’ve experienced. The shame is in hurting us. Telling victims not to ‘be victims’ and show or admit their hurt further traumatizes victims. They have nothing to be ashamed of.”
