I don't really expect you to read this or believe it, but objectively, despite your gripes, we are well entrenched in both the gendered aspects of patriarchy, as well as the other social stratification elements of it. No-one claims it's a shadow conspiracy. It's an out in the open social system that is based in a dominance hierarchy (one that screws most men over as well) because only a few elites truly benefit from it. It's the ocean we all swim in and it takes place mostly unconsiously as "just the way the world works." However, patriarchy as a social system came into being only about 6-9 thousand years ago around the same time as the agricultural revolution.
"But with the onset of patriarchy, not only are women controlled by men in a way that they hadn’t been before, but the strong have power over anyone who is less so and a kind of feudal system emerges. A relatively small number of elites ostensibly protect, but also control a larger number of highly stratified classes, with the most powerless and the poorest making up the widest part of the pyramid. Until 50 years ago in this country, both by law and by custom, White men were at the top of the hierarchy, White women were below them, and on it went until you get to poor Black women as the very bottom of the pyramid.
Despite the change in laws, and some upward mobility for previously bottom classes, this hierarchy is still largely in effect. The more that the pyramid flattens, with less stratification and more equality, the more some people feel that their birthright is being stolen and react accordingly. For those who believe in the hierarchy, and the zero-sum system, any gains by someone else are perceived to come at a loss to them."
In other words, racism is a function of patriarchy. So is homophobia, and police brutality, or really any sort of wide-spread and systemic bullying. Most likely, a lot of the problems you experience in your life are caused by patriarchy.
"A dominance hierarchy (which is what patriarchy actually is, not just a dynamic between men and women) is about maintaining traditional power through displays of aggression, coercion, and artificial barriers to true competition.
Our social system revolves around clawing your way to as high in the pecking order as you can get, by any means necessary, including violently holding other people down or erecting barriers to them being able to compete — all the while telling yourself that you’ve earned your place fair and square."
Your asshole boss is a function of patriarchy. So are the mean girls you went to school with. Yes, absolutely, women uphold and maintain patriarchy as well.
You don't feel and experience the benefits of patriarchy because you aren't close enough to the apex of the pyramid of the dominance hierarchy, and probably experience a certain amount of disenfranchisement and oppression too because of that. But that doesn't mean it isn't there. In fact, it's proof that it is.
“Patriarchy is generally not an explicit ongoing effort by men to dominate women. It is a long-standing system that we are born into and participate in, mostly unconsciously.”
A matriarchy would just be another type of dominance hierarchy where women have the upper hand, and for the most part, that’s not what women want. They want a partnership. But as I said, I don’t really expect you to listen to that.
