I don't understand your complete and total lack of understanding of institutional power, privilege, and the lack of responsibilities of marginalized and oppressed people to the very people who are part of that oppressor class. I've been trying to steer clear, but Lorelei Weldon told me about this piece and I had to read it for myself.

I must say, it's incredibly disheartening to read such a tone-deaf and clueless screed from somebody who claims to be a feminist. As others have pointed out, you are essentially demanding that Black Lives Matter take on the problems of white folks, and that gay people ought to add an S to their letters because it's "unfair" and not truly about equality if we leave straight or white people out (because they have problems too). 🙄

That you feel the need to center men in a discussion about trying to get basic safety and fair treatment for women is a play straight out of patriarchy where women are viewed as "human givers" and not human beings. When women aren't being raped at the rate of 1 in 3, when there is actual equity in workplaces, when 85% of girls aren't being sexually harassed starting in childhood, when the authority gap and the motherhood penalty close, when 3/4 or women journalists haven't experienced harassment and violence related to their work - then and only then can we turn our attention toward other people's needs. Why is that so hard to understand or view as appropriate?

IT IS NOT WRONG OR INAPPROPRIATE FOR WOMEN TO PUT THEMSELVES FIRST.

People who yell that ALL LIVES MATTER are invariably bigots. I don’t believe that you are, but it’s sure not a good look to borrow that same language.

And as Lorelei noted, go clean up your own house before you start demanding that we do that for you. Honestly, I just don't get it, but yes, go read some bell hooks. She's great and very accessible.