I get that, but if somebody had been kicking you in the kneecaps for no reason as long as you could remember for no reason other than an immutable trait that you couldn't change, and you'd asked them nicely to stop, and to evaluate why they would even want to do such a thing, and instead they doubled down on their right to keep kicking you, it would be pretty difficult to not resort to shouting and blaming. Right?

And part of the problem is a highly individualistic culture where too many people believe that if they aren't personally doing something, they shouldn't be blamed - completely ignoring that their inaction and their lack of words also co-create the culture and uphold the structures of inequality all the while allowing them to benefit from that inequality (whether they want to or not). This applies to racism, and homophobia, and other things as well.

As MLK noted, everyone is affected by injustice, even if it's indirectly.