I hate this about US culture. Passive aggression seems to be the norm for so many people. I'd much rather that people be civil but honest, rather than pretending and talking behind people's backs. I guess it's a part of the toxic positivity. It really is not only OK, but much better, to feel all of your emotions and really feel them, and then to channel those responsibly rather than to stuff them so that they run you from behind your smiling façade.