I know you are deeply attached to that myth, but that’s all it is. Women, even very attractive ones, are not just sitting around choosing between all of their options.
Part of the reason the dynamic you’ve described doesn’t work for you is that you’ve said you want to fuck, but “don’t really want to know her too well until you have really hit it off.” That’s your problem right there and why your strategy has brought you frustration and pain.
“Most men are willing to have sex with a woman, even if they don’t like her personality. Even if she is being a bit of a bitch or if there will be no relationship after the sex, most guys are still willing to stick it in, pump away, have sex with her and have a good time.
Yet, the same rule doesn’t apply for how women feel attracted to men. An attractive woman could have sex with the 95 out of 100 guys who are ready and willing to have sex with her, but she doesn’t because most guys don’t even make her feel much attraction at all.
Why?
Most men are going through life thinking that women are attracted to men for the same reasons that men are attracted to women. They assume that women are mostly attracted to a man’s physical appearance and that everything else is pretty much irrelevant, but that’s not the case at all.”