I loved what you said about "what if I created a book with someone else?" You are absolutely correct that even monogamous people who are following all of the "rules" of that still have connections to others, and sometimes deep connections, but that somehow whether or not your bodies have touched in intimate ways is the demarcation line, which is kind of silly. That part IS patriarchal, because it's for the purposes of assuring that paternity is always known. But that's me digressing....

People can choose whatever parameters they want, obviously. I have no problems with that, but nearly everyone just plugs into something they've had no say in because we're so sold on that as the only way. We're a highly social species, so artificially restricting that really doesn't work at all that well a lot of the time, as all the infidelity and divorce indicates.

Anyway, thanks as always for your thoughts.