I married a band geek. Granted, he spent years reading GQ in high school and college and learning how to be more confident and to dress better, so I don't disagree with you on that part. But, if he hadn't also been one of the kindest, most generous, most open-hearted people I know, I doubt I would have married him.

But the point is not to work at being kind. The point, which I've already said several times, is to work at knowing who you are so that you can be confident in that - which is sexy. This is the first time you've brought up highly social as being a Chad quality. Of course women who are highly social want to be with guys who are too, but some people are introverts, and wouldn't want that. And of course people want to date those they find attractive, but women have a much broader range of what they think that word means than the average man does.

If you Google "What do women want in a man" you'll find that every list begins with confidence as the first thing, meaning that they believe in themselves and own who they are. The next qualities vary, but are all some form of moral characteristic, such as integrity or mutual respect.

"In a recent study, however, we explored what women, from 18 to 75, need from the men in their lives. Women don’t need partners who invest all their energy in trying to prove how strong, manly, masculine, macho, or heroic they are. They just want men who are willing to meet them where they are and treat them fairly and equitably — and are able to make sure that the romantic spark keeps burning."

Which is pretty much what I said in my OP. "Overwhelmingly, women are looking for someone who has basic good grooming and manners, who is interesting and engaged with life, and who will treat them like a real person. Rather than focusing on showing a woman how impressive you are, why not demonstrate how much self-confidence you have by allowing her to teach you something or otherwise demonstrate her expertise somehow?"

Of course a woman wants someone who makes the most of what they have to work with physically, and isn't a smelly slob - that kind of goes without saying. And I've already touched on the confidence thing several different times, so that too is a given. Beyond that, most women want to be treated like a partner, like an equal, with respect and caring. That's what the Pew study shows, and it's what my friends say as well. If you don't think that's true, well, all I can do is to wish you luck. Overwhelmingly, people date others who are "in their league" for lack of a more elegant term, so if you're looking to date a supermodel and not having success, that's an issue of expectations on your part.