I never liked that movie, not even when I was a kid when it first came out - for all the reasons that you named. The values were just horrible and misogynistic, and so Zuko wears a letter sweater at the end. It's not like he actually changed to become part of Sandy's world the way she changed to fit into his. It's terrible! Some of the music is catchy and/or good, but the plot is horrendous.