I think that people who willfully and intentionally hurting people and who encourage others to do the same deserve less empathy. I don't have the same empathy for Hitler that I do for somebody who is doing their best to be kind and caring. Even people who have suffered (most people to a greater or lesser extent) are still responsible for their actions, for trying to heal themselves and for not trying to work out their pain on other people. Those who refuse to do that get basic human empathy from me and nothing more, particularly if they are killing other people. We have the culture we have because we tolerate it. If we didn't tolerate it, it wouldn't exist as it is. There are cultures where rape essentially does not exist, where women are seen as just as important and socially valuable as men, and where empathy is taught in schools. As I so frequently note, our current social system is dysfunctional and the root of most of our social ills. And I'm not going to sit around pitying the men who cling to that system even when it hurts them, and who scapegoat women instead - not beyond basic empathy as human beings. It you want to do that, be my guest, but enabling people who won't take responsibility for themselves isn't kindness in my book.