I think that this is actually the main issue. Many guys don't want the vulnerability of potentially being turned down - not when they've been taught that they should "score." The kink world normalizes consent - and on-going consent at that, and has no issue with it being a "buzz kill." If the buzz comes from taking or forcing the issue and the thrill is the thrill of conquest, that's a problem. Flirtation and sex can be plenty sexy without that.