I think you're exactly right but also that most men haven't the foggiest idea how to walk this line. Young men today seem to have learned all of their "moves" from porn and hook-up culture and it's a problem. Also, I hear a lot about men try to sell themselves like a car salesman trying to make a commission rather than engaging in interesting conversation that helps you get to know each other.

I used to be friendly with a well known and slightly famous ladies man. His advice was to never ask woman a question that you don't care about the answer to. If you honestly are interested in where she was born, great, ask that, but otherwise ask something you actually care about knowing like "What really lights you up" or "What's the accomplishment you are the most proud of?"

How you make her feel is definitely one of the keys to whether she's going to be attracted.