I too appreciate the discussion, but I don't think we're really getting anywhere with it at this juncture. You're fighting with a dynamic that you don't want to believe in, so I don't think there's anything really I can say to convince you. But here's one last try:

"Suppose a researcher were to tap you on the shoulder and ask you to write down what, according to cultural lore, males and females are like. Would you stare at the researcher blankly and exclaim, “But what can you mean? Every person is a unique, multifaceted, sometimes even contradictory individual, and with such an astonishing range of personality traits within each sex, and across contexts, social class, age, experience, educational level, sexuality, and ethnicity, it would be pointless and meaningless to attempt to pigeonhole such rich complexity and variability into two crude stereotypes”? No. You’d pick up your pencil and start writing."

Fine, Cordelia. Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference (p. 3). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition.

And, because those stereotypes are so deeply embedded in our subconscious, even asking someone which gender they are before they begin a test skews how they will do on the test.

"Unlike explicitly held knowledge, where you can be reflective and picky about what you believe, associative memory seems to be fairly indiscriminate in what it takes on board. Most likely, it picks up and responds to cultural patterns in society, media, and advertising, which may well be reinforcing implicit associations you don’t consciously endorse."

Fine, Cordelia. Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference (p. 5). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition.

Everything I could find on same sex couples says that they tend to divide chores a lot more evenly.

Then there's the fact that more than 54% of Americans explicitly believe that the man is the head of the household, with some other untallied number who believe that subconsciously, at least to some degree. You can pretend this doesn't affect how often couples slip into traditional roles but it does make an impact.

The bossy, demanding, "I earn the money so I make the rules" women you may have known are outliers in a well documented sociological dynamic that's been studied in a wide variety of Western countries over many decades - all reaching the same conclusions. I'm sorry, but you aren't a sociologist, you aren't a cognitive scientist, you aren't in possession of anything concrete that demonstrates that these studies used poor methodology. None of that is really a basis for challenging the results.

I highly recommend reading the book that I've excerpted from repeatedly if you want to get a better understanding of just how deeply these stereotypes are both held and internalized- for both men and women. It’s called Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine.